Learn to Fly (Very Important! Read it, like you have to read it! If You don't we will find you!)

[FallingPhoenix]

Ahem Gentlemen and Ladies today because well Blue asked me to and well I can't really say no to her, I'm posting something for you all. This post is going into the official news section you know why? Because it is well important, important enough. You see all of us have been going through shit as of late and you know what, it happens. But today because apparently blue thought it was truthful or inspirational or whatever enough about this topic I'm going to share this with you. I usually do not take things out of the Phoenix Writing vault because well I don't think very highly of myself and I don't like getting attetion because of my writing I write for myself not for others it helps you know keep me sane. This little thing was written while I was away on my grand adventures. It was during a time when I basically was on the verge of killing myself was about to do the deed before I remembered some very important people in my life that would kill me if I killed myself (you know who you are.) and so I didn't it was right around that time that I wrote this. A large thing called Learn to Fly. It shares some truths about life and I hope that well it can help remind us all of some very important things.
~ Phoenix

Learn to Fly
*Dedicated to the Circlefucks and the Siters
I know a thing or two about humans
Being one I have fairly well experience
One thing about us is that we are stupid
We are Stubborn
We don’t know when to give up
But in a way that makes us beautiful
It makes us what we are
Our ability to cross rapids
To climb mountains
To do the impossible
Because we are naïve
We are stupid but it makes us who we are
Life is like climbing a mountain
It is grueling and some people do not make it
The path is covered in thorns
Glass
Needles
Hope
Despair
Happiness
And Heartbreak
You are going to learn a few things on the climb
I know I have
Hell I’ve been knocked down
Broken
Beaten
I have the scars
The scars to prove it
Because while you are climbing up this mountain
Like angry animals
Others are going to try and keep you down
They are going to hurt you
They are going bite sometimes
With fangs and sometimes with words
They are going to break you down
You are not going to be prepared for it
Hell I know I wasn’t
It’s going to hit you like a car slamming
Into a patrol car on a cold December
Night
It is going hit you
It’s going to hit you when you realize you are alone
It’s going to hit you when you see your life in pieces
No longer a whole, just a whole lot of pieces
Like you thinking that your entire family
Hates you
It’s going to hit you with the words
Fatty, Faggot, Slut
And when it hits you are going to fall
But remember what I said about us being stubborn
You are not going to let that stop you
You’re going to get back up
Even while life is kicking you in the stomach
You know why
Because you are fucking better then that
And all these times life knocks
You down
It teaches you
You got to have the breath knocked out of you
To learn how much you are willing to fight
To get that air
What hurts you leaves scars
But those scars
Are reminders that
You are still living
That you overcame it
That you got to your feet
And began to stumble back up that mountain
And the animals are going to come back
And sure you might get hurt again
But you are going show them
That you are not going to be stopped
Because you might be the
Fatty
Fagot
Slut
Retard
But you know what else you are
A fucking fighter
You are beautiful
And they are going to ask you
Why you are still here
They are going to hate you
They are going to make you want to fuck kill yourself
But until you reach the top you are not going
To give the fuck up
You are going to climb that mountain
You are going to go 40 fucking rounds in the ring
You are going to beaten
Your lips going to be swollen
Your arms going to be bent at an odd angle
You are going be walking with a limp
Key word fucking walking
You are not going to stop walking
The say words can’t do damage
Sticks and Stones
You Know
And I know
That you know
That is total bullshit
That words dig as deep wounds and bleed you
As much as any fucking blade can
They do the same fucking damage
But you kid got to keep on fucking moving
We have all fucking been there
And I’m fucking stupid
I’m not telling
You to get over it
What you got to do
Is to smile
Is to keep on moving
To not hate
To not dwell in the past
It has all been fucking said before
But it needs to be said again.
You might think you are alone
But you are far, far from it
He was abandoned by his parents
And his entire life revolved around
Going in and out of hospitals
And a endless chasm of drugs and tests
All because
The words hit him and hit him
And nobody was present to shield him
And nobody was there to remind him
That he was beautiful
That he was damn amazing
And so he tried to kill himself in the 8th grade, tried again in the 9th, again in the 10th, once again in the 11th
And once again senior year
He did not die
But his entire life
Is a balancing act
On a tightrope
With fucking roller skates on
While juggling a pair of angry tigers
He is eventually going to fall
He is just praying that it happens quickly
Her mother died in a car crash and her father soon after shot himself
She was abused and beaten by her “family”
In the 4th grade
Somebody made up a story about her and a dog
Dog-Fucker
In the 5th grade
She was beaten and abused some more
In the 6th
They seemed to forget about her
Everyone seemed to forget about her
In the 8th
They came back and she came home with the words whore carved into her arm with glass
Her “parents” just yelled at her for getting blood on the carpet
She tried to kill herself in the 10th grade
After her “father” had raped her
But she lived
In the 12th grade
She met a boy that she fell in love with
And he fell in love with her
A year after that
He shot himself in the head, no note or anything
Became a druggie
Making an artificial world for herself
In her mind
Where everything was okay
Was raped again
Give birth to a pair of twin baby girls
Those were taken away from her
Because she had no way to take care of them
Because she was a druggie
Because the world made her into something horrible.
Eventually this brought her to
A bridge
Christmas day
Early morning
Where she met a man
While she was perched on the edge between life and death
This man talked to her for a long while
So long that the sun began to rise in the distance
The man told her his story and why he was out on the bridge
She told hers.
They smiled
They laughed
They Cried
And eventually with a hug
And the simple words of
Thank You
She Jumped.
I couldn’t save her
And maybe I did all I could
To help her see
The good
To give her one
Friend that cared
Sometimes that is all you can do
You are not alone
Remember that
Hell I’ve been in the same position
When I was kid
They took me to a psychologist
Thinking and capacity wise I was fine
Emotionally though
Slightly mentally unstable
Which if you know me would not really surprise you that much
Beside the Pyromania
Which was actually rather okay when you think about it
Because the fire taught me that even things that
Destroy can bring light and warmth
Into the world
The flames taught me more than most people did.
The other side was one
Dealing with Relationships
Or my social interaction with people
I had this odd
Complex in a way
To destroy any close relationship
They said it
Was a fear of them
A anxiety disorder maybe?
Whatever it was I would
Lash out against people
And hurt them
Mostly because instead of most people that
Try and fix relationship problems my brain
Just decide to pull me out as quickly as possible
Like almost ripping off a band aid


Heh
You can imagine how well that worked
In life
I was described at times
As
Quote
A Charismatic Bastard
Silver Tongued devil
Jackass with a Heart of Gold
Unquote
But I could not really make friends
Because some way or another
I would end up destroying them
Some people
Decided to stick it out
To fight through this complex
Maybe because they knew
If nobody tried
How would we know that
That I could not have friends
And to those few people
I honestly owe my life
And then I met her
Met her in the most blunt way possible
A locker to the face
Nose Broken
Me flat on my ass
Her freaking the fuck out
Blood everywhere
My nose broken
Which led to a simple Hello
Which led to talking
About you know
Normal highschool
Stuff
Bands
Drugs
Philosophy
How much our English teacher was a bitch
Average
But that lead to deeper conversations
And that lead
To a kiss
Not my first
But the first one that really is
Cemented as a milestone in my life
She was a rebellious
Artistic drama kid
Who at the time had bright pink hair
And was so out of my league in every way shape of form
I was the socially awkward
Writer kid
Who name was only known around school
Because I happened to be
For some reason
Very fucking good at Hockey
And I set the principles car on fire
It was a total accident
I swear
Who wrote for the Highschool Newspaper
And did science shit
Mostly falling in line towards Chemistry
I never got of my nack of setting things on fire
Or blowing things up
It was match made
In Highschool movie
Cliché heaven
She stuck by me
Through
My
Crazy
Fucking mood Swings
My stubborn attempts
To make her leave me alone
But we stayed together
I stayed with her during
Her bitch phases
She during my asshat phases
She was at my side
When I become the literally
Formation
Of fucking
Stoner Jesus
Through the LSD Phase
Through the time the Principal caught us
Um well
You know
In the gym
To the time it happened
And I accidently pulled
A fire alarm
The look on the cops faces might have been
The best I had ever seen
Two idiot kids
One of the them embarrassed and trying to hide behind
The other
Who was laughing his ass off
She was with me
When the Government came knocking on my door
Because of some less then legal things
I had done on a computer
To a government site
She was still with me
Even when her family disowned her
Basically
Because she was with me
When she lived in my parents’ house all through the ending half of senior year
With me
When I got my first apartment
And my first real job
She managed to stop
Me from killing myself
I’d say
About 20
Times
Good and bad
And she
Was there in the fucking Himalayan mountains when
I left to go alone
And find myself for the
First time
I might of found myself but
She found me
Though
Remember what I said about
Life leaving scars
How you
Have to
Be ready
For it to
Fucking kick you down
Well it has a way of remembering
How fragile our existence is
How everything can be broken and fall apart
All because fate fucked up yet again
And with the ease
Of A car crash
The whole support
The thing holding the bomb in check
Holding the explosion in
as to not have the teetering tower of life fall down upon him
Stopped
And Boom
The whole tower came crashing to the ground
Burying me beneath its rubble
So yes we all have been there
But you know what
From that rubble
Something new can be born
And from my rubble
I’m going
Make a Jetpack
And Fucking
Learn to Fly
Because fuck the sky is the limit
The fucking Universe is the limit Bitch
So bring it
So remember
Siter
CircleFuck
And
Everyone
Else
Remember life
Is going to knock you
Down
It’s going to take a hammer to your knees and shatter them
Shoot you
And then piss on your grave
And you are going to get back up
You are going to Crawl
Walk
Run
Take out that fucking Chainsaw
Snipe that motherfucker
Drink until you find the beauty in the world
Bring Light and warmth to it
Craft memories
And Emotions
And bonds that will last a life time
Because even when people
When life
Knocks you down
Remember that whatever they fucking say
It is wrong
You might have to patch up your own broken and bleeding heart
Trying to pick up the pieces that are cutting you like fucking
Shards of glass
But you will hold them together and say that
They are fucking wrong
Because if they weren't
Why the fuck are you still here!?
Why the fuck did you not give up yet
No matter what they say
Because they are fucking wrong!
We are still no matter what living
Being happy
Learning
And Growing
And whatever they say
We are not just some decryption dying out sluggish creations
We are not the dust in the corner or the cobwebs
No we are the fucking Spider
We are changing and fucking crafting a new fucking web,
A new fucking life
That goes by our fucking definitions not
Theirs
And you are Fucking Beautiful
You are fucking wonderful
You are pretty damn fantastic
You are something more
Then just a grey depressed slate
If you can’t fucking see that
Look Harder
Get a new fucking Mirror
Stare Longer!
You are so fucking beautiful
Life is all about the scars that are left upon us
The impressions
The memories that are made
And you are going to make as many as damn possible
You are not going to give up yet because
It is not your time not
The world is a blank Canvas
Just waiting for you to come along with a brush
Because all the memories
All the ideals
We create
Are their own fucking form
Of Energy
And Science says Energy can’t be destroyed
Which means we can’t be destroyed
No matter what is fucking thrown at us
We are indestructible
And that gives me a small comfort
And remember that even in your darkest hour
You are not alone
Somebody, somewhere fucking cares for you
And fucking loves you
Remember that and live
For you see in the
End, you must remember two things
I know to be a fact
About humans
Are that we are Stubborn
And Stupid
And that is what makes us beautiful.
So don’t give up
A new beginning is just around the bloody corner

[Melvin Louie-Leon]

Just felt like facking commenting to say that that was some brilliant shit like a baus.